You Blocked Me on Facebook, Now You’re Going to Die

Parents need to be Discerning Leaders Not Passive Followers

 Just because it’s “out there” doesn’t mean its okay to let your kids listen to it!

 I just read an article in the “Upper Hutt Leader” (Issue dated Wednesday, April 2, 2014 pg. 4) a local news paper which is really quite a good read with very well written articles about local news and issues.  The title of the article is “Mother shocked at dancer’s music” by Simon Edwards (fairfaxmedia.newspaperdirect.com/epaper/viewer.aspx?cid=1824‎).

When I first started reading the article I felt pride for the mother who spoke out about the inappropriateness of the lyrics to a song that was being used by a young 12 year old girl who was performing a dance at a local family event called the Upper Hutt’s Teddy Bears’ Picnic.  According to the article the main lyrics, or refrain of the song are “you blocked me on Facebook, now you’re going to die.”  This mother said she was “astonished that the dance teachers allowed this type of music to be performed in public, (let alone at an event for children).”  She expressed concern for what our young children are learning from the media influences in their lives.  I was applauding her concern and discernment thinking to myself “thank goodness there are some parents out there who can think.  Then I read the next line of the article and felt sad for the mother of the dancer and especially the dancer.  In response to the complainant, the mother of the dancer said that she “could understand the complainant’s concern if you took those lyrics literally.  But my daughter had no intention of being threatening.”  She went on to say “its modern, social media stuff and it’s out there, she is not dancing to it because of the words, she’s dancing to its beat and rhythm.”

Now I was curious so of course I took a little trip to YouTube to have a listen for myself.  What I found really disturbed me and made the comments of the mother of the 12 year old even more disheartening to me.  There were several versions showing up and all were pretty similar as far as the beat and music go but one version in particular by Knife Party had lyrics such as “is she hotter than me? would you f–k me? are you gay? why don’t you answer me?”  And then the refrain…

Well, needless to say this really got me going as it is one of my pet peeves when it comes to raising kids.  What on earth can a parent be thinking is going to happen to their children if they continue failing to guide them? Are they thinking?  How does it even make sense to allow young children to be exposed to such poison?  Kids do take these things quite seriously.  Just like they take seriously everything we say to, or in front of them.  They are taking it all in, and so many parents don’t take that seriously.  I see it every day in my practice with teenagers who are so deeply hurt by something someone, (frequently a parent or trusted adult) said to them at a vulnerable time in their life that negatively impacted the way they think about themselves and the world.  It is so much easier to nurture a child than to fix an adult.

With all the research that has been done pointing to the connection between violence among children who view violence on TV; I cannot understand how parents can go blithely along thinking that listening to songs with lyrics such as these will not negatively impact their young children.  Parents – don’t think for one minute that your children will not do just as I did and go directly to YouTube and watch the videos connected with this song (and many others like it) as soon as they get near a computer, which they likely do every day without parental guidance.  Some of the videos that went along with this song were even more disturbing to me than the words if you can imagine that.  Personally I don’t think anyone of any age should give ear to such evil diatribe, but that’s just my opinion.

3 thoughts on “You Blocked Me on Facebook, Now You’re Going to Die

  1. I loved the article as it really struck a chord with me. I share your concern. One pop song my kids like was watched on you tube by them and I found men and women gyrating their pelvis all over the place …. I’ve banned that particular song from being watched on you tube. But most pop songs have inappropriate words as well as actions. My son who is 6 – is going around singing songs about sexy ladies etc, passion in his pants …. it drives me insane. What do I do? Ban all pop music?

  2. Thanks for your reply and question. I think you’ve answered your own question when you said “most pop songs have inappropriate words”. As a concerned parent I get a sense that you want your sons to value and respect women and themselves. If popular music is teaching them to degrade women and themselves then yes, you have answered your own question, you probably should block pop music, but it goes further than that. The problem I see for most parents is that this type of guidance is time consuming and down right exhausting. Many parents opt for the quick fix by blocking kids from things which ultimately makes them seem more attractive and desirable to them so they will relentlessly pursue them. The best approach I’ve found is to sit with your children and discuss the values that are promoted in these songs and how negative they are and open up a dialog about the kind of values you want them to learn and why. Then make an agreement with them that you will help them find songs to listen to that are in line with the values you want them to hear about. We have to remember as parents that when we engage with our children in this way we are doing a number of things: one we are valuing our children which makes them feel valuable, two we are teaching them what is important in life, three we are teaching them that we are not the police but rather guides to help them learn to think for themselves, and four we are investing in them, their lives and their futures.

  3. This sort of thing continues to amaze, frustrate, and discourage me as a teacher of ten to twelve year olds. I see parents who justify all sorts of mean, crude and sometimes violent behavior as acceptable social behavior. I try so hard to be a positive model for my kids but they are inundated with filth and vulgarity at every turn. So sad. I don’t know what is to become of us.

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