You Blocked Me on Facebook, Now You’re Going to Die

Parents need to be Discerning Leaders Not Passive Followers

 Just because it’s “out there” doesn’t mean its okay to let your kids listen to it!

 I just read an article in the “Upper Hutt Leader” (Issue dated Wednesday, April 2, 2014 pg. 4) a local news paper which is really quite a good read with very well written articles about local news and issues.  The title of the article is “Mother shocked at dancer’s music” by Simon Edwards (fairfaxmedia.newspaperdirect.com/epaper/viewer.aspx?cid=1824‎).

When I first started reading the article I felt pride for the mother who spoke out about the inappropriateness of the lyrics to a song that was being used by a young 12 year old girl who was performing a dance at a local family event called the Upper Hutt’s Teddy Bears’ Picnic.  According to the article the main lyrics, or refrain of the song are “you blocked me on Facebook, now you’re going to die.”  This mother said she was “astonished that the dance teachers allowed this type of music to be performed in public, (let alone at an event for children).”  She expressed concern for what our young children are learning from the media influences in their lives.  I was applauding her concern and discernment thinking to myself “thank goodness there are some parents out there who can think.  Then I read the next line of the article and felt sad for the mother of the dancer and especially the dancer.  In response to the complainant, the mother of the dancer said that she “could understand the complainant’s concern if you took those lyrics literally.  But my daughter had no intention of being threatening.”  She went on to say “its modern, social media stuff and it’s out there, she is not dancing to it because of the words, she’s dancing to its beat and rhythm.”

Now I was curious so of course I took a little trip to YouTube to have a listen for myself.  What I found really disturbed me and made the comments of the mother of the 12 year old even more disheartening to me.  There were several versions showing up and all were pretty similar as far as the beat and music go but one version in particular by Knife Party had lyrics such as “is she hotter than me? would you f–k me? are you gay? why don’t you answer me?”  And then the refrain…

Well, needless to say this really got me going as it is one of my pet peeves when it comes to raising kids.  What on earth can a parent be thinking is going to happen to their children if they continue failing to guide them? Are they thinking?  How does it even make sense to allow young children to be exposed to such poison?  Kids do take these things quite seriously.  Just like they take seriously everything we say to, or in front of them.  They are taking it all in, and so many parents don’t take that seriously.  I see it every day in my practice with teenagers who are so deeply hurt by something someone, (frequently a parent or trusted adult) said to them at a vulnerable time in their life that negatively impacted the way they think about themselves and the world.  It is so much easier to nurture a child than to fix an adult.

With all the research that has been done pointing to the connection between violence among children who view violence on TV; I cannot understand how parents can go blithely along thinking that listening to songs with lyrics such as these will not negatively impact their young children.  Parents – don’t think for one minute that your children will not do just as I did and go directly to YouTube and watch the videos connected with this song (and many others like it) as soon as they get near a computer, which they likely do every day without parental guidance.  Some of the videos that went along with this song were even more disturbing to me than the words if you can imagine that.  Personally I don’t think anyone of any age should give ear to such evil diatribe, but that’s just my opinion.

What are we Teaching our Little Boys?

When I watched the video linked below it really struck me and I asked myself this question: what are we saying to our little boys when we tell them to be a man?  What does that mean?  We have to show them, they have no idea what that means because the role models in the media – the cultural icons are not men.  They are actually scared little boys who believe they have to show attitude to survive and that is what they teach our children.  They have no root; no base, no honor or integrity, kindness, compassion, or love; it’s just a “free for all” any thing goes.  They are free to bully others, subjugate females, and whatever else happens to strike their fancy.  When we turn our boys loose with media this is what they will receive.  We need to go backwards in some regards and think about what most makes us human; it is our ability to think and to choose.  We need to unplug our kids from TV, computers, i Pads, i Pods, and cell phones.  Spend time with them engaging and interacting on a human level; go for a walk, shoot some hoops, throw the football around the yard, do acts of service in your community…  This requires leadership from us, their parents; we have to be willing to put down our TV remotes, turn off our computers, i Pads, i Pods, and cell phones and really spend human time, face time actually doing things with our kids.          The San Francisco Times.